I think my asking him to repay the money would make me feel (somewhat, but not much) better about having to give AMEX 16K. You’re right…I have no way to ensure compliance. I can’t sue him like AMEX would.
Right now he gives me an allowance of $40.00 per week (this I save up for Christmas presents, birthday presents, clothing – most of what I buy for myself is used – Salvation Army or charity shops….most of the children’s clothing is gifts from relatives). If this were increased to $100.00 per week the debt would be discharged in 160 weeks, three years and two weeks.
Our rent is $1425. The payment (excepting AMEX) will be, he tells me, $860. per month. The car, he tells me, will be paid off in October, so that should free up some funds. He tells me that MMI will charge a flat fee of $90.00 to take the case (but that AMEX has to be paid off first since they will not deal with anyone).
I have told my husband in just this language that I don’t feel safe, I don’t feel secure, I feel a terrible sense of insecurity and hopelessness about the future (the way things stand). I have asked him if he loves me and the children and he says that he does.
It’s difficult enough for me as it is, dealing with my own mood problems (depression, stress) and with my older son’s difficulties (which are challenging….I never thought I’d be hearing from a teacher that my son tried to bite someone…..). I am really heartbroken sometimes and it feels so difficult right now.
I’m hoping for a sea change, a total change, in my husband’s attitudes towards me, towards money, and the responsibility (I feel) he should take for his actions/inactions and, first and foremost do his utmost to take care that this doesn’t happen again….and that our financial future and security should be a priority for him.
Thanks for listening. It really does help me.